I don't know when I last wrote a song. When the pandemic hit, I got busy with as many non-songwriter things as I could. (Which is in part how I coped.)
Being productive (a.k.a. busy) is how I need to be in order to feel okay in the world. Despite knowing this about myself, I know that I’m also a creative person. And, I've never been able to reconcile and fully understand that part. As I get older, I get closer to understanding. Learning about The Big Five Personality Traits has helped immensely. (Conscientiousness and Openness are my top traits by far.)
Though creativity itself, I may not ever fully understand. It's too mysterious. As many times as I've been through creative cycles and phases, I still don't get what it is that both compels and impels an artist to make something out of seemingly nothing. When I feel those creative feelings coming, I'm halfway scared out of my mind and halfway egging 'em on. It's a strange beast and a strange process. We wrestle to exhaustion and somehow both win.
Other fellow creative people: what's the process like for you?
Though I've written the odd story and a few recounts or reflections, this is the first song I've written since the start of the pandemic. It's not the typical song. More of a poem and an arrangement of melodies and sounds.
This project took a lot out of me and left me feeling sort of how you feel when you get winded: breathless and achy and tired. (See? Who would purposely want that for themselves or anyone? I'd leave it all behind in a heartbeat if I could.) But this song also gave back. I'm not sure how to explain that better. It more or less wiped me right out. And then filled me up with better stuff.
Anyhow. Here it is.