Hi friends! I'm back on the blog! The time is right, I'm thinking... It seems I'm back in writing-mode. This is how I know:
Last night, I fell asleep peacefully. That tired, cozy feeling you get when you know you're drifting off. It's such a nice feeling! I don't know it well, so when I do experience it, it's welcomed warmly.
At some time a little past midnight, I started to dream of a song that I was writing. There was a man singing it and he was being backed by a male choir. It was such a rich (yet simple), lush sound. It was both real and magical at the same time! When I realized I was dreaming, I coaxed myself to slowly wake up so I could jot down the lyrics, vibe, melodies, etc.
I stayed in dreamland for another refrain, telling myself to "take it all in and remember as much as possible." I slowly woke up and slowly made my way to the music room across the hall. I thought the best way to get the ideas down would be via the voice memo app on my phone. So, I grabbed my phone, opened the app and hit record.
Well, let me tell you. I just now listened to the two memos.
And, I just now finished a second round of laugh-until-you-cry-and-then-laugh-some-more.
The first memo is me describing the dream and the song vibe and feeling (while still apparently half asleep). Then I proceed to count it in for about 45 seconds until I find the right tempo. Then, I attempt to sing some of the words. There's a lot of confusion and missing parts. I note that I can't even remember the verse. I also note that the lead singer in my dream had a beard. (Okaaaay, then...)
In the second memo, I get out my guitar and start picking out the chords and the strumming pattern. Then I figure out the key and the call-and-response between the lead singer and the choir. It's absolutely painful and doesn't make much sense at all.
Let me tell ya: none of this is anything to write home about. It's all actually pretty bad material. I'm not sure I'd ever use any of it, or that any of it is worth keeping.
(Who am I kidding? I'm keeping those memos for whenever I need a pick-me-up, haha.)
But, what I can say for certain is that it feels really, really good to be back in writing-mode. Back in creative-mode. Back feeling at home with myself. Back in acceptance that I'll always be a creative type, regardless of how hard I fight myself at times.
Maybe one day I'll share those voice memos, so you all can have a good laugh. (They are inadvertently stupendously - and stupidly - hilarious.) But, more likely, I'll stick to sharing music, songs and creative works.
My goodness, it felt sooooo good to laugh. I don't think I've laughed much in the last several months. What a great feeling!
Friends, I wish you moments of unbridled laughter and peaceful acceptance. And the bravery to be yourself at all times, especially in uncertain ones. Sending you my love.
xo, Carrie Day